dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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