i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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