Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
