I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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