dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This toilet bowl is my home.
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