there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
