im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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