is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's great music for shaving your balls
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
