How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize