I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
