the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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