i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
