we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
