Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
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