You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
