I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
