so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
