My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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