He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
