i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
