Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
