I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
