Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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