gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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