i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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