Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
