I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
