It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize