Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
