dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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