yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
