Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
