the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
