Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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