i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
