I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
