oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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