I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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