i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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