Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
