he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
