Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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