I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You dont lie about slip and slides
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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