You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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