You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
