piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
