You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
