I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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