The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize