if you like me you must not know who I am
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
