I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize