I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
