Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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