I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
