did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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