we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize