They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
