So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize