My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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