have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I want a musical about memes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
