im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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