What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize